am i truly recovered?

my frenz, i need ur advices... i really dono wat to do on his birthday... his birthday is approaching ... 2/10/08... my heart beat getting faster and faster... y i still care about him? sigh... i wish i can greet him face to face... but, i am not allowed to do so... i expect no more from him... but, yet i still care about his birthday... the present that i prepared for him so long is still with me... i just asked my fren to hide it... i am so weak... i dare not to open and see it again... all the memories... for the past 2.5 years... i ady cant differentiate whether is true or fake for me... but, it doesn't matter now... i also cant care anymore... pointless... sigh... when only can i let go all of this frustrations?!! when? nobody can tell but i myself huh... or... time will tell me again... i will wait... i sure will wait for that moment to come...